Remembering Ma-Ma

Jessica Oliver, Age 11
San Francisco
Francisco Middle School

Ahhh... The sweet aroma of incense....

It beckons my memory to when I was little, watching my Great-Grandmother burning incense and praying to Quan Yin (the Chinese Goddess of Mercy), Sahm Bo Fut (the Three Gods), and for the loss of her husband, Chung. She would put a little tiny spoon of cooked rice in three tiny bowls, and she would put tea in three other tiny cups. Also, she would put fruits and steamed chicken on the altar to pay her respects to the gods and goddesses of the kitchen. Gracefully, she would lean down and chant these words over and over again, holding her prayer beads: "Na Mo Au Lae Tau Fut." These words tingled in my ears so peacefully, and they sounded like a soothing lullaby.

I was determined to understand what she was doing. So I asked her what those peaceful words meant: the enlightenment and energy within. Also, she said that she was praying for me to have health, happiness, and a good education.

What I love about Ma-Má (the Chinese name for Great-Grandmother in a respectful way) was that not only was she my Great-Grandmother, but she had a good sense of humor. Sometimes Ma-Má would make funny faces that would just make me hysterical. Whenever Ma-Má was mad at someone, she would make a face at them when they weren't looking. She would scrunch her nose closer to her eyes like a wrinkled raisin and tighten her mouth like she just ate a super lemon (sour candy). Then she would stick out her two fingers and point at him/her. When the person turned to look at Ma-Má, she would smile like an innocent angel.

What makes Ma-Má so special to me is that she would always explain about how she came from China, about my ancestors, and my Chinese heritage. Ma-Má told me lots of stories. She also told me about her life in China. This is what she told me:

Ma-Má was born in 1907 in Canton. She had 9 brothers and sisters. Her family was very poor and always had to share whatever they had with each other. When Ma-Má was 21, her father arranged a marriage, and she was very mad. She wanted to stay and help her mother to work and support her family, but she couldn't disobey her father, so she married Yéa-Yéa (Great-Grandfather), and they fell deeply in love. After that, she had three sons, but two died from lack of food.

Shortly after, Yéa-Yéa had to go to San Francisco for a business trip because he was an opera star. But they never realized that they would be separated for 32 years! Every day Ma-Má grieved. They couldn't contact each other. Also, it was during war time, so there was hardly any food for Ma-Má and her son. She was always really thoughtful about her son (my grandfather, Gong-Gong). Sometimes she wouldn't eat anything and give it all to Gong-Gong and to her nieces.

One of Ma-Má's brothers died, and he had a little girl whom nobody wanted because they thought she was too much trouble. Ma-Má didn't want to see her little niece, Sau Ying, die so she adopted her. Ma-Má had to knit sweaters and make match boxes to buy food. Her neighbors were eating dead human babies and rats to survive. But Ma-Má didn't have the heart to eat babies and rats, so she cut down trees and boiled the insides of tree trunks for food.

After 22 years, Ma-Má, Gong-Gong, and Sau Ying finally found a way of escaping from China to go to Hong Kong. Yéa-Yéa would always send money to Ma-Má, but her brothers would always steal her money. She would never know because she didn't know how to read or write.

Many years passed. One day, Yéa-Yéa finally contacted Ma-Má's brother (in Hong Kong) and he found out that Ma-Má, Gong-Gong, and Sau Ying-were staying there. Yéa-Yéa tried for 10 years to bring her to the United States. Finally, in the summer of 1966 they were once again reunited!

Without her great love and encouragement, many lives, such as those of my aunts and uncles would have been lost. She kept on telling them to stay strong through the War and Communism. I remember she would encourage me to bear through my problems, especially when my parents were divorced and my dad wouldn't come to see me. When my cousins made fun of me because I wasn't full-blooded Chinese, and I didn't look Chinese, Ma-Má would sing to me and tell me that it was okay to be a multi-cultural person. She would cry with me and tell me to keep my head high and be proud of who I am. She also told me not to follow her and be an illiterate. An education could take me anywhere I wanted, and that I couldn't be cheated by others with my money.

Ma-Má's dream was to be reunited with her husband, Yéa-Yéa. Their love stayed alive even though they were separated from each other for 32 years. Yéa-Yéa could have easily forgotten about Ma-Má and married someone else in America, but their love kept them strong. They never forgot the hope of one day seeing each other again. She also dreamed of living in a place with no war, Communism, or starvation. She hoped to one day to see her son married, and she wanted to live long enough to see her grandchildren born. I will fulfill the rest of Ma-Má's dreams as much as I possibly can. She dreamed for me to be the best person I could be and to respect my mother with dignity.

My dream is to become a singing star and follow in Yéa-Yéa's footsteps. I also hope I can become as patient as Ma-Má and never give up on my dreams, exactly the way she never gave up for 32 years!

People in China expected Ma-Má to marry a rich person who had a good education and was a doctor, instead of an opera singer. They doubted that she would survive the war. They expected she would remarry.

People expect me to be an All-American person, to know nothing about the Chinese culture, and speak only English. I'll never be just an All-American. I want to learn all there is to know about Chinese culture.

It is beneficial for me to be an Asian American growing up in America. Not only do I know the American culture, but I know my Chinese cultural background, and I know how to speak fluent Chinese. I'm proud to learn how to chant these soothing lullabies like Ma-Má did. She really reminds me of Quan Yin; she knew the meaning of mercy, too. Another benefit to being Asian in America is that I can read and write, get a good education, and I have a lot more opportunities than Ma-Má had.

...Now the sweet aroma of incense is fading away, and Ma-Má has gone with it. But I'll always remember her and treasure her in my heart... Quan Yin smiles on me with Ma-Má's face.